I've been trying to find a way to describe how tired I have been for the past few days.

Soul crushing?  Mind numbing?  Both come close, but don't quite do it.

Today I got up at 8, unloaded the dishwasher, dried a load of laundry, and cleaned out my desk drawer.  Productiveish, right?

Then I took a two hour nap.  I only got up because the dogs had to go to the groomer, and as hard as I try I can't train them to walk there on their own. 

I'm afraid I've been a bit too smug with this whole positive pregnancy test, high beta thing.  I felt like I was on top of the world until about Wednesday, then I started to feel like I was getting way too excited.  Surely, getting too comfortable with the idea of success will make this crumle, right?

My second beta is on Monday, and then my first ultrasound would be the following week.  It will be postponed because we are going on a cruise for a week.

I'm hoping that I will feel more reassured by a second, doubling beta.  But I'm afraid that my fears are coming true: that I won't be able to enjoy a pregnancy at all, because I will always be waiting for the sky to fall.  The other shoe has to drop sometime, right?  How could we possibly just have a simple, happy ending?