Here I am still counting the days till I meet with my chemo doctor.  After seeing my radiation doctor it looks that chemo will most likely be necessary and there's no way around it.  Sigh.  In the meantime my reconstruction is on hold for 3 months.  I haven't had any saline injections since the expanders were replaced in February....and since that time they have shifted.  My plastic surgeon tells me I should be "massaging" them down - yeah right!  Do you know how hard it is to try to get an expander  to move that is beneath your muscle?  I can't get them to budge and one is pushing on my rib and it is uncomfortable! It interferes with sleeping and just hurts!

So now I'm kinda questioning this whole thing.  I just want it to be over and keep telling myself that if I hang in there by next year I will be done and hopefully comfortable.  it's not like I can have them surgically removed at this time, so I think I have no choice but to sit and wait it out - but again I say, I'm so uncomfortable!  UGH!  It's not like I'm some skinny minnie that can go without breasts.  I need something on top to help balance me out.  It's just that I mahev pushed and rubbed and massages and neither of these dang things will move!  It's frustrating.  I know when I go into surgery he will build pockets to hold them in - so they won't shift.  BUt what do I do in the meantime aside from tightly wrapping myself in duct tape?