It's been awhile since I made an update concerning my own personal cancer situation.  Mainly it's all because I have been hanging in limbo.  The medical oncologist I originally consulted with didn't bother to prepare himself or a plan regarding my care once I finished my radiation treatment.  His lack of effiencency or concern for my health really put me off.  You see he had been sitting on my records since April.  He received weekly updates from my radiation oncologist - yet once I finished my treatment and came to see him to find out my next step he literally had nothing to offer me.  He wasn't sure how long I'd have to undergo chemo.  He didn't know what type of chemo I should do.  He had no answers.  So ultimately I dropped him like a bad habit.  He had months to prepare and come up with a treatment plan and he didn't.

When I pressed him for answers he told me that perhaps I'll do a Taxol based combo since originally I did an AC combo my first time around.  I left his office frustrated with the time he wasted.  I immediately scheduled an appointment with another doctor - but since my records never were transferred my original date had to be pushed back.  Now I don't get in to see him till the end of the month - which will be a whole month and a half after I completed radiation.  I'm hoping that this doctor will review my records and have a recommendations ready for me come my appointment.

During this break I've been doing some research on Taxol based chemo combos.  The first time around the combo I was prescribed carried a risk to the heart.  I remember I had to undergo certain tests prior to starting.  But seeing as you cannot repeat certain chemo drugs, I'm unsure of what options I have other than a Taxol based drug.  You see Taxol carries risks of damaging your liver.  My mother passed away from end-stage liver cirrohsis.  With that in mind, and the medication I currently take, I am not keen to the idea of taking chemo drugs that are bad for your liver.  Which has me wondering if I should even do chemo at all.

According to what I have been told radiation is a localized treatment that kills cells at the source.  Chemo is a systematic treatment that kills off any rouge cells.  My cancer has not spread.  At the current time I am unaware of my oncotype - but I understand that people who are within a certain range do not have to undergo chemotherapy as it is of no benefit to them.  The first item on my agenda will be to find out what my current oncotype is - then to find out what other medicines can be offered to me, as I highly oppose a treatment that is bad for my liver.  I'm not sure yet how my husband will feel if I refuse to undergo treatment.

So tell me, what do you think?  Should I do chemo or not?  Does my oncotype matter if I feel so strongly opposed to a treatment method?  Do you have any suggestions on how to convince my husband without upsetting him?  Did you do or not do chemo - and if you chose to skip it how do you feel now?

These are all thoughts that have been running through my head for the last few weeks.  I'm really torn here.  I know what I want, but I don't know if I have the guts to actually do it.  So let me know what you think.