A cancer diagnosis is actually a pretty awful thing to be given. First, you feel fine and then you are given a diagnosis so mentally everything goes to hell in the proverbial handbasket. Then the surgery and chemo make you feel awful and then you get fried by the radiation. So physically you are out of wack as well.

They say that a cancer diagnosis is a year out of your life. They also say that people with cancer go through something similar to PSTD. I am not sure who the ‘they’ are but I think they are wrong. This is my second cancer diagnosis. The first time, it was like I was hit by a train – 19 years old and the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. I had surgery, radioactive iodine, and then that’s it. I’m supposed to be better. Looking back, I think it was a good five years before I was dealing in a mature manner.

Fast forward, 26 years and I go for a routine mammogram. And then there was that little follow up call – we need you to come back… And then it went down hill. Then were two surgeries, 16 rounds of chemo, another bad mammogram, more surgery (but benign), 33 rounds of radiation, another bad mammogram, another biopsy (but benign again). Now 15 months since my diagnosis, I am still waiting for that all clear. But mentally I think I am more on top of my diagnosis.

From the beginning, I joined a weekly support group. Then I joined a weekly six week program for newly diagnosed people. Then I started seeing a therapist. I also have made a point to be friends with other people who get it. - the ones who have been through this themselves.

If you haven’t had cancer, I’m sorry, but you don’t get it. You can’t, you won’t. It wasn’t you that was just run over by the convoy of semis on the interstate. But, you can come pretty darn close just by being there for me and all the other people who are living with a cancer diagnosis or two or three or four.

Cancer doesn’t have to take away our spirit and our minds and our ability to enjoy life. Cancer can be managed so we can still be ourselves. Don’t let it ruin your life. Don’t let it run your life.