Now that I live in cancerland (someone else said that and I like it), every doctor appointment needs to be evaluated for its potential stress level. What if??? I mean what if at your next appointment they find something?? What if? Once you step into cancerland, you can't get out.

Yes, you can push it into a small corner of your mind but its always there. It does seem to get smaller over time but it never goes away. Every doctor's appointment is another trip around the roller coaster - sometimes the hills are bigger than others, sometimes you feel more secure - maybe by bringing a friend or spouse with you - but its always there.

Today I go back to the doctor after my gall bladder surgery to get my steri strips removed and hopefully the all okay to resume all activities (currently I am on the no heavy lifting routine). I already know the pathology report came back clean - I managed to wait five days before calling and asking for the results.

My next appointment in a couple weeks should also be okay. Its a follow up with my oncologist and I don't expect any real surprised. But then in two months I go back for what I hope to be a clean mammogram. Maybe, maybe not. We'll have to see but that will be a big roller coaster ride through cancerland.