another one?
It's not that I haven't known all her life that my daughter, Jade, was different. She's always had some interesting issues
Between the ages of 3 and 6, she obsessively tied everything together. All of her toys, stuffed animals, cars, books, art supplies, etc. would be tied up with whatever she could find. I had stored a bunch of yarn the attic, which she found at some point and used on her stuff. I remember watching her and thinking she seemed like a little rodent, tieing everything together for winter. I spent hours and hours untieing things, so I could put them away. I wonder now if that bothered her.
She was also a fantastic animal imitator. She did a cat that people would beg to see. My favorite was her Compsognathus (dinosaur). I have some video of her doing her imitations. Maybe I'll be able to upload them some time.
At 14, she still flaps her arms when she's excited. But only at home - never in public.
She's never been able to focus on more than one step at a time. Lists don't work with the girl. I can give her one thing to do and that's all.
She's never been able to organize. I've always worked on creating systems to help her organize her schoolwork or room, but she's never been able to impliment any of the systems. It's not that she's lazy, she just can't.
She can't stand bad grammar or spelling. She ran her own website for a while and found herself constantly correcting other kids' posts. She eventually drove the other kids crazy and the site fell apart.
She's insanely smart. But as bright as she is, she's failing several classes at school. She just doesn't seem able to keep up with all the organization necessary to get by in junior high.
So my different little girl (14 isn't really that little, is it?) is extremely depressed. She's sent me text messages that she wants to die. I think that failing in school isn't her only issue. I suspect she's noticing social differences in the kids around her.
So my first step was to talk to her school counselor. We both suspect she's on the spectrum, but to get the school's help, we need to have a diagnosis. Which is a big can of worms. Where to start?
As an immediate band-aid for the depression, I've set her up with a therapist who's seen her twice now. He's really good with her, although I'm a little disappointed that we haven't gotten a referral for an evaluation yet.
Do I have another Aspie?
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Comments (4)
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Isn't it amazing?! I've never heard of other kids tying everything together before you shared that your boys do/did. I too feel a sense of relief that my Jadey is not the only one.
Thank you so much for commenting and connecting.
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I have gained so much from all of your stories. Both of my boys tie things up. My 10 yo has all but stopped only to be replaced by his little brother. Also, lining things up constantly, both of them. I am so glad that you contacted me. I can also relate to your daughter myself. I wish you both well and will continue to check in on your stories. I am sorry that I can not express fully how relieved reading your stories has made me. Thanks for the pick me up!
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It's funny that along the way we've noticed things about her, but professionals have assured me that she was just quirky. The flapping was just a quirk she'd outgrow - her psychiatrist told me. That was 7 years ago. I forgot to mention her weird sock thing. The toes in her socks hurt her. I used to have to cut all the toes of her socks off. I took her to a foot doctor who told me her foot pain and sensitivity was all in her head. I'm feeling like the doctors let me down. Someone should have stepped up at some point and mentioned that she should be evaluated for autism.
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Elaine, I look forward to any input some of the parents, and others, might add, and I hope they do. Reading this has brought tears to my eyes and a physical reaction in my gut. I had never known someone who actually was anal retentive, and that sure was a problem with her for quite awhile. Her animal interpretations kind of scared me because they didn't seem "normal". She was pretty hard on the cats, but I figured she was more important than they, although I loved my cats too. I love Jadey and used to enjoy having her around when she was staying with us. It's been a long time since we have had her around and that's sad and has been a part of the legal hold on you that PA had because of one sick person, or maybe its really three sick people - of course it is - no maybe about it. When I first noticed Jade flapping, I was concerned because I knew it was supposed to be an "autism thing" and that was scarey to me. Now Jadey is terribly depressed and that's not what anyone wants for their grandchild. I wish I could take her pain away, and that's not realistic, but I'll try to help in any way I can and will continue to love and support her, and you and Max. Love, Mom and Grandma
