Car or Train?A Story is one person's health experience, often with recommendations.
A friend today told me he'd heard an analogy for autism that absolutely suits...
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Getting Out
I mentioned in my last story that isolation is a big part of parenting my Asperger's boy, Maxfield. The chances of him throwing a tantrum when we go out are about 50/50. I'm forever weighing the pros and cons of taking him anywhere.
This weekend we were invited to a party with friends in Port Orchard. The drive is at least 2 hours r/t. Long drives are bad for the dude. But getting him to a party with other kids at a place where they understand tantrums was too good of an opportunity to pass up.
I wanted to prepare him as much as possible. I let him know on Friday that we'd be going on Saturday. He moaned and told me that he didn't want to go.
Saturday I mention that we need to leave by 3:00. If everyone can be ready on time, we'd have time to stop at Sweet Kitty - the local Hello Kitty/Japanese anime shop. It's one of his favorite places - they've got Pokemon (Satoshi Tajiri the creator of Pokemon has Aspergers - go figure) which Maxfield has been collecting obsessively since he was tiny. Rewards work really well with Max, and punishments not at all.
3:00 rolls around and I'm late getting back from picking up the dolmas we're taking to the party. Maybe that's where the trouble starts. Maybe if I'd not nit that traffic on the way home, we'd have gotten off in time. But I didn't make it home until 3:15 at which point I can't get either of the kids moving. I turn off the television and the tantrum starts. He throws shoes at me and screams. He screams that he can't find his DS and hits me as if it's my fault. I start to scream back at him, then walk out and sit in the car.
I have this list of things in my head that I use to think about when he's out of control - to keep me in control. "He's not trying to hurt me. He's got a unique perspective. He needs my help."
After I chill out, I go back in the house to gather him up. He's on the couch, watching cartoons again. His sister finds his game system (in his bed). He struggles to put his shoes and socks on (the socks don't match perfectly - I have to get him a matching pair).
I'm going to continue this later. Reliving this incident is bringing me down right now.
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Comments (14)
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I don't think that the general populace appreciate just how much forward planning we need to do just for the simplest of tasks. Hope you feel a little more cheery later.
BEs...
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Your house just sounds like our house. We may be motivated and need to get the lists done but they certainly know how to pull the reigns you are doing ok
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Don't think it's twisted to gain comfort from knowing there are others who have the same thing. I suffer from the opposite problem. Will and Izzy are so social but can't control ...
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Heh - how twisted am I that I get so much comfort seeing others struggling with the same problems I have? Let the commiserating commence!?
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Just last week we got an entertainment center shelf that has doors on it. I haven't gotten a padlock yet, but I might have time to get one today. That way I can manage tv/video g...
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I just ordered The Incredible 5 Point Scale. I can't wait to get it. Thanks
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Oh yes, leaving the house - or leaving the destination once we get there, proves to be quite challenging for my 6 year old Aspie. The aggression is difficult to deal with as wel...
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- That's to say "if this one works" nice. So here is what I attempted to send last night. You mentioned that before, "Time Lord". I think you have a tool in that. You may...
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I tried to send a comment last night but I don't think it went through. If this one work then I will resend what I wrote last night.
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I have a daughter w/ Aspergers and getting ready to leave the house has always been a challenge. We found a school where we can be late every day and they are cool with it, but t...