When thinking about “one thing” regarding cancer, I keep returning to the notion that as a cancer survivor I should help guide people who want to relate to those with the illness. My one thing would be to remember that one size does not fit all.

The best a person can do is to remain receptive to the sick person, refrain from dropping bromides, and basically try to be a good listener.

When I was in the worst part of my illness, I very much enjoyed getting cards or emails that recalled a specific event that I was part of. My greatest fear was that I was slowly being erased along with all of my accomplishments. I could certainly understand that someone else might take offence at this, viewing such recitations as prelude to a eulogy. For me, they reaffirmed that I had made an impact – brought a chuckle, a grimace, a fist shaken in anger, a warm feeling.

Before I had cancer my experience with the disease was limited to elderly people. I believe I can be a better friend to sick people in general if I keep in mind that old people were once young, sick people once healthy. Even when I was sick I enjoyed talking about the outdoor adventures my friends had experienced. If I couldn’t get out then I would live vicariously through those who could. When I see someone I don’t know so well who is sick, I ask what he/she misses most. This can be painful, but often opens the door to what the person would most like to talk about.