Just listen. When someone asks me how it is going, I tend to be very open and talk about my experience, and I appreciate when they just listen. Oh, and I agree with sagrace about what NOT to do.

OK, I have a mouthful on this one. Mostly what NOT to do... 1. Don't tell them that they will regret having kids once they get them because little Johnny kept you up for the past week (etc.) 2. Don't tell them to relax. 3. Don't make jokes about how thy must be putting something in the wrong place. 4. Don't tell them how lucky they are since you get pregnant TOO EASILY "All Fred has to do is just look at me and whammo baby 9 months later" 5. Don't ask them if they have considered adoption. Of course they have but may not be ready for it. 6. Don't give advice...unless you have been infertile (and waiting 6 months to get pregnant naturally doesn't count). 7. Don't give advice...even if you have been infertile...unless they ask for it. 8. Don't tell them it will work next time...just let them cry, complain, yell or mourn. 9. Give them links to others who have been through the infertility war...and let me tell you...it is a war! Some great support sites (other than what I hope will be this one) is http://ivfconnections.com/ and fertilethoughts.com 10. Remember - the term infertile only applies if you are trying to get pregnant. 6 years later with two adopted kids I am not infertile! But the scars of infertility are still there. I have been through serious health issues with my husband but the one that leaves the largest scars is infertility...I so appreciate you wanting to support but I found even the best intentioned people didn't quite say the right thing while my infertility buddies would be perfect. Don't feel bad, it helped that someone was even trying to understand but know you may not be as good friends with people while they are going through it. My "best friend" was not what I needed during those dark years...only a bunch of women I had only met on a chat board would do. But my best friend and I are back on track...

Having been on the other side many years ago I know what my experience was and it was very painful not to be able to conceive a child. I felt jealous of others and resentful that we couldn't have children, as far as we knew. It is a very sensitive issue and needs to be left alone unless the couple wants to talk about it. Sometimes just being around kids is too much. After I had my first and only miscarriage I was so distraught I didn't even want to see kids or see pregnant women. I know not everyone was as sensitive as I was, but alot of them are. When my son and his wife lost their twins because they were born too early we were all devastated and my daughter-in-law didn't want to be around people with babies or older children for awhile. She was approached by a drunk ex-friend who suggested she needed to do certain things to conceive and he was terribly obnoxious and that ended a long time relationship for my son and his wife. My advise would be don't bring up the subject unless the unfertile couple wants to bring it up and understand that for some people it is an extremely sore subject. I'm glad there are sensitive people like you who care and want to do the right thing.