However bound and determined to live I was, I had no idea what was in store for me...... 

My doctor never told me what type of cancer I had, or even what the staging was.  Once I got a copy of the patholgy report I found that I had:

Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma; Stage 2; T2 N0 M0; Tumor Grade 3; Tumor Size 2 x 2x 1.5 cm; Estrogen Receptor Positive (90%); Progesterone Receptor Positive (5-10%); Her-2/Neu Negative (score of 1+); DNA Ploidy = Diploid; S Phase 2.2%

Once again the time came to check back into the hospital.  When I woke up, I remember being in the worst imaginable pain ever.  The doctor did not explain the procedure and what a Modified Radical Mastectomy consisted of.  the nurses gave me multiple shots of Demeral which did nothing for the pain.  I screamed and cried for the first 3 hours.  Once they switched me to Morphine - which nearly took an act of God to do, I was finally feeling somewhat better.  But that ended on the 2nd day when a student nurse came in to check my vitals and nailed me on the chest with a stethascope.  I was livid - was she not familiar with my procedure?  When the assitant surgeon came in, I let him know just how displeased I was.  His reaction to it all was to tell me to buck up, get off the meds and get over it cause it didn't hurt that bad.  I went ballastic on my husband telling him to keep that doctor away from me - I mean really, what does a man know about having breasts and how much or how little it might hurt to have one removed.  I was just so furious, who was he to try to tell me how I should feel!  The doctor himself, not only seemed like a selfish prick, but acted as one as well.  He came back into my room and let it be known that I was being discharged the next day like it or not.

Obviously I did not like it, and when I was woken up at 6am and told that I was being discharged I was even more furious.  He made it so clear he wanted me gone, but regardless of what he wanted, I made sure to take my sweet time and enjoy breakfast first.  After breakfast some wonderful ladies came up to see me.  They had heard of a new cancer diagnosis.  They wanted to offer me information and support.  They brought gifts of little breast cancer bears, rubber bracelets, and most importantly a mastectomy starter kit that contained a tank top with pocket inserts for the left or right side, and two little pillowy breast forms that were filled with stuffing so you could make it as big or as small as you needed.

Armed with those gift, I left the hospital sometime WELL AFTER lunch at least looking whole and feeling a bit better.  Aside from the jerk of a doctor, the rest of the staff there were fabulous.  The wonderful gifts were all items given by the Amercan Cancer Society and Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

I spent the following week as home recovering.  I had a nurse that would come to the house to change my dressings and help attend to the drain tubes I had coming out my side.  I also followed up almost weekly with my surgeon, who I know disliked because of his partner - not to mention hsi care wasn't the best either!  After about 2 weeks he finally removed my drain tubes, which hurt like hell.  The staples had been removed and I had been healed, although I was still quite sore.  During this time we often wondered what we'd do for chemotherapy as we lived in a small town with no oncologists around.  We had the choice of driving to Reno (about a 3 hour drive), Salt Lake City (which was about a 3 1/2 hour drive), or sending me to Vegas to stay with my in laws (which was a 6 hour drive.)  The only logical choice was Vegas because each chemo session would last at least 2 hours, and we felt that we couldn't do the drive and treatment in one day.  Besides in Vegas I would have a support system there.  My mom still lived there - she was still waiting for her house to sell as her and my step-father had plans on moving to Mexico to retire.  Aside from having family there I also had a few friends - and I was able to bring my daughter and our dog.  My husband would be able to travel down to visit when needed - he had a really understanding boss, that said since he had a laptop he could work anywhere if needed.  It was great having that support, because before we had moved to Elko, I too used to work for the same company for many years and knew the director and had many friends - friends who so graciously chipped in money and bought me a $175 gift card for Michael's Craft Store, and sent me beautiful cards!