These are the gems that have come into play at our house. In my opinion, they are the most helpful for parents who are new to autism.

1. Autism currently has no cure. Some of you may disagree with this statement, and you are perfectly entitled to do so. There are numerous therapies available throughout the world. Some are extremely expensive and yield questionable results. Some are even harmful to the children they are supposed to be helping. When it comes to looking at therapies, ask these two questions: How much does it cost? and Does this sound too good to be true? Your own common sense should be your guide.

I recently heard a person speak who claimed to have "come out of autism". My husband heard this statement as well, and we looked at each other in disbelief. This person, although very successful, still exhibited many of the key traits that lead to a diagnosis of Asperger's: poor eye contact, monotone voice, repetitive behaviors to name just a few. While he may feel more at ease socially through learned coping strategies, his autism is still part of his personality.

We are fortunate to have many medications that temporarily alleviate some of the variables in the autism equation: ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, seizures, to name a few. There are also behavior therapies that enable autistic individuals to develop strategies or scripts for getting through difficult situations. None of these is a cure, because at the end of the day, the autism is still a pervasive part of that person's being. These options, however, do make life a little easier for our children and for us.

2. Autism is inherited. I was once on the heavy metals bandwagon, convinced that my son's vaccinations had caused him to regress at the age of two. But like it or not, as I examine the personalities of relatives on both sides of our family, it is perfectly clear that my son's issues did not appear mysteriously. He is the exaggerated version of our family's quirkiest character traits. So, even if no one in your family has ever been officially diagnosed until your child was, chances are autism has been working it's way through your family tree for generations.

3. Kids with autism need love and affection, even if they have difficulty showing it themselves. Many parents are hurt when they realize that autism may cause their children to shun physical closeness and affection. The kids still need to know they are loved unconditionally - so tell them every day that you love them. Help them understand that they are an important part of the family, even if they prefer to be left alone. Find different ways to demonstrate affection.

4. Yelling at your child does not improve his hearing. Before I knew for certain what my son's issues were, the fact that I could be standing two feet in front of him and feel completely ignored confused me to no end. Whether he was hyperfocused on the television or a toy or just staring off into space, I couldn't understand how he could have absolutely no reaction to my voice.

Increasing my volume only served to make me hoarse, because his reaction was still zero. This was when I started to suspect autism was at play. Now, a light touch on the shoulder and a simple whispered command in his ear is the most effective way of getting his attention when he has retreated into his safe place. It saves me a lot of frustration, too.

5. Every autistic child is different. Just as every typical child has strengths and weaknesses, so do our spectrum children. What works for my kids, may not work for yours. Rely on your instincts and the cues your child provides to find ways of helping him find his way. And remember, you'll both get better at it as time passes.

To be continued.