And not the good kind of whore, like an Infertile Whore.You'll remember that I am FAT. And I have no pants that fit around my newly massive girth. I have been wearing dresses, loose skirts, and two Banana Republic skirts I have that I can pull up above my belly button (I am short, so it works out). Let's not lie - I've worn the same 10 things in a constant rotation for the past 9 weeks so that I wouldn't have to go out in public with a muffin top.So today I decided t…[more]

A few weeks ago, I was touched. No, not "show me on the doll where the bad man touched you" touched. I was a victim of the belly touch.I was violated.I will be the first to admit that I was always annoyed with pregnant people for complaining about people touching their stomachs. Maybe I still hold that opinion to be true. Hopefully I will make it to the point where I am big enough to have random people feeling me up, and I can let you know if it is rea…[more]

Words I never thought I would mumble… First OB appointment? More like disappointment. I have been seeing this doctor for my run of the mill vagina issues (pap, urinary tract infections, etc) for about 5 years now, and I absolutely loved him. He was always very nice, very willing to explain things when I asked questions, blah blah blah. So it was an easy choice for me to stay with him, even though it's 45 minutes from home and about the same from Mark's work. Our appoi…[more]

This week, our baby is the size of a lima bean. Or, as I saw on one website, a gummy bear.   It is really weird to have your growing embryo constantly compared to food in relation to size. How can you ever eat that food again without kind of thinking that it's like eating your baby when it was XWeeks and XDays old?   A friend of ours said that at the first ultrasound for his daughter, she looked just like a gummy bear, and now he can't eat them anymo…[more]

...or so I would imagine.I've had herpes before. You probably have, too. Maybe you never knew that you had herpes, because someone gave it a really nice name, like Chicken Pox. I got the chicken pox when I was 18 - three days before prom my senior year. Yes, I managed to avoid the chicken pox my entire childhood when most people just get it overwith. Hell! Despite touching a friend's pox, sharing writing utensils, sleepovers, and basically licking live sores! The docto…[more]

On Wednesday when I did my update post, I was delirious with exhaustion and decided to post so that people would stop sending me subtle threats and singing The Song That Doesn't End.* I didn't have time to get my ultrasound pic up.And also? I put that my due date was 2/24/08. So clearly I had this baby 5 months ago and gave it away to someone else during the cry all night period. Because who wants to put up with that?My due date is 2/24/2009.So here it is - the little cupcake i…[more]

Or: I'm sorry I'm behind on posts (violence is not the answer).So, I graduated from an infertility patient to a certified OB patient. (Cards, money and gifts will be accepted).After a sleepless night of worry that I was carrying an entire sports team in my ute, we made it to our appointment on time, legs ready to be spread, vag ready to be violated.The appointment went well, with some laughs over a possible threat of vaginal violence...Nurse: I'm just going to turn on the fan, it get…[more]

We are back from our cruise! Actually, we've been back since Friday, but I've been sleeping since we got back.Our vacation was so much fun. I am going to post more about that later, with pictures and maybe a few stories. I haven't gotten my pictures from the camera to the computer just yet, but hopefully later this week. I know you'll be chewing your fingernails to nubs just waiting. Please, try to relax and maybe get some sleep.Anyway, the major thing that happened on our cruise is…[more]

On Saturday, we took our dogs to the groomer and thus had about 4 hours to kill. We decided to buy a gift card at the grocery store (Fuel Perks!) and go out to an early dinner. As one would naturally expect, the grocery store was freaking packed at 2pm on a Saturday.How many times has this happened to you? You are trolling the parking lot for an acceptable space, and as you race up a row you scout out a cherry spot - ripe for the picking! As you swing into the p…[more]

Second beta was today.Are you wearing a diaper? Because I nearly soiled my pants when I got the number, and I have an exceptional sphincter, so I'm just saying...hold on to your shorts.Beta #1, 15dp3dt: 964Beta #2, 22dp3dt: 27,820Just to verify that I didn't add a zero or carry an extra 1,000: 27,820.At this point, you're probably wondering exactly what I'm growing in this uterus of mine.My best guess? A Wildebeest.My ultrasound would have been this coming Tuesday, but we will be o…[more]