Just to recap – we teach our children a skill. We have several false starts but still reward their efforts with the lowest common denominator, such as an M&M.

Eventually, the skill is mastered. It is at this point that the parent should withdraw, or fade, the reward of the M&M and replace it with something deemed more appropriate, such as a high five or words of praise. Careful parents do all three.

Why fade the reward if we achieve the desired result? Apart from the potential dental nightmare? Because, if you’re unlucky, the task and the reward, become too closely associated with one another. Pardon? If you’re not careful, you may find that the child associates doing the task with the reward of an M&M. If there’s no M&M then they’ll just skip the task. It’s perfectly logical. What if you really hate your work? Would you work without a paycheck?

This is where I fail repeatedly. I can never pinpoint the right time to fade? In fact it’s probably worse than that. If I’m honest, I suspect that I have slipped into the habit of rewarding them with an M&M. For me, teaching new skills has become associated with M&M’s! I’m on automatic pilot. Guilty of association. What a clot!

How can this have happened?

Maybe it’s because teaching a new skill takes many weeks, sometimes many months. If it’s a really difficult skill, it may take many years but we keep trying.

The timing of fading is a crucial step that seems to have withered away from my own skill set. In theory, the fading should decrease gradually, deliberately and unnoticeably. From one M&M for one task, to two or three tasks for the same reward, watering down the effect until eventually it disappears, seamless and without effort.

Fading applies to so many things that we teach our children, from the first words we prompt from them with a PEC to more advanced skills as they grow older. The hurdles that seemed insurmountable become ‘doable,’ slip into their repertoire of skills and fade into insignificance, we hope.

So that’s it for now. I shall leave my words of stupidity here to molder away, much like their owner. My three months are up on Trusera and I can feel myself drifting away, ebbing into cyberspace.

"Cheers dears"