Cancer Sucks and Depression Hurts.

The hardest part of it all was the absence of my friends.  They all had their work, husband, children, family problems, and various other things going on.  Some were so busy they just didn't have time for me, and it hurt bad.  In a time when I needed friends the most, I was being pushed away cause they couldn't spare a few minutes to call and say hi, or spend an afternoon with me when I asked.  It was very heart breaking and depressing.

Not having my friends stand by me lead to major depression issues, and once that started I think the whole cancer thing hit me.  I become so depressed that I even began having suicidal thoughts.  My friends couldn't make time for me, I was worried about the cancer returning, I was in lots of physical pain from lymphedema as well as certain meds I was on, and being so far away from my husband had really taken a toll on me. 

My head just wasn't in the right place.  I knew I wanted to be here for my family, but at the same time I didn't want to burden them.  I felt so alone with no one to talk to.  Depression is something that runs highly in my family, but never had I really experienced it.

advertisement

Trusera Blog

Comments (3)

  • somethingforbonni

    Hi, ScrapAddict74! I am sorry to read that your friends were not supportive of you during your time of need. I have learned that friends don't always know what to do or say, and often times do or say nothing and this can be hurtful. I don't believe it's because they don't care. It may be that witnessing your battle confirms that they too can get this disease. Dealing with ones own mortality is difficult at best. I, too, had friends who didn't call or come by. I still love them, and consider them dear friends. They are much different than I and handle situations very differently, for this I can not blame them. I wish you all the best!
  • Spaghettiodreams

    ScrapAddict, Just wanted to send good wishes to ya for your surgery tomorrow. My friends have kind of deserted me too. I guess it's bittersweet. On the one hand, it's hard to lose touch with people who you thought were your "friends." On the other hand, other people (who sometimes you never would have expected) step up to the plate and really become such strong supports and more like close family. Just keep your head up and always try to smile.
  • suzy

    hi how are you doing. Just read your story. Guess what even if depression does run in your family its doesnt matter it hits everyone with this breast cancer and anyway friend are friend unless they experience this they dont have a clue nobody does mothers are great I wish I had my mom when this happened to me but mabey better she wasnt here she probably could take it. Anyway I was being busy as a concered mother fo my kids. But as it happened they never discuss it with me cant take it only want me to be healthy and be a grandmother to there kids and a mother for them. If you have a good husband make him your best friend I was married for 34 years and he was never my best friend just poped his head in the door to see if I felt ok from time to time now I am devorced never even saw my scar and claims that nobody will ever love me like he did who needs that after I went through all that I also had chemethapy and radiation I am ok now almost 8 years feel good hard for me to go back in that place but we need to do that ever once in a while to know where we came from so we can enjoy life. Stay strong and depend on yourseld all the time so you dont get let down whatever come is a gift. regards suzt\y

Profile-hfyknsm7gzkg4bvmrlg7rhhdsooamehk-full

ScrapAddict74

F • 34

Luling, LA

"Cancer is NOT a DEATH sentence!"



  • 3were inspired
  • 2found useful